Friday, July 18, 2014

My Little Pony and Salary Negotiation

I have been meaning to write this post for some time. During Hackbright we did a salary negotiation workshop, in which they explained some of the reasons many women do not negotiate, gave examples of negotiation conversations, and had us act out simulated negotiations with our classmates in order to become more comfortable with the idea.

When I got my offer from SurveyMonkey, I was really quite happy with it. It was generous on its own, and furthermore came with some really fantastic benefits/perks as well as a potential annual bonus. But I knew the ghost of Liz Howard would haunt me to my dying day if I didn't at least try.

The next day, although I knew I was planning to negotiate my salary, I was not really thinking about it that morning as I got dressed. A reasonable person might have worn something that projected power and a sense of seriousness. I, without thinking, put on my Ponyville Public Library tshirt with a picture of Twilight Sparkle among some books. I love that shirt but it doesn't exactly scream "I am a professional, and please take me more seriously."

It was after I had scheduled a meeting with the HR person to negotiate my salary that I noticed this incongruence. At first, I got really nervous and embarrassed and I considered postponing my meeting. But I really wanted to get this over with.

I decided I would just embrace it. Yeah, I thought, I'm just going to be me! I power posed and thought about how Twilight Sparkle and her books were empowering and I felt pretty good walking into the meeting.

But somehow my confidence refused to enter that conference room. I felt very stupid and selfish and greedy and ungrateful and all the other things you aren't supposed to feel because salary negotiation is a totally normal and standard thing and because men do it all the time without hesitation.

I don't want to go into too much detail because I feel like a bad role model to future HB students. But here are some conclusions I drew from the experience:
1. I should have done a role-play with a friend to practice my lines and to get more comfortable.
2. SurveyMonkey did not rescind their offer or tell me I was a bad person for negotiating.
3. I did not die. And more importantly, I did not cry.

I do not recommend wearing an MLP shirt to your future salary negotiation meetings. But I do recommend power posing and possibly having a drawing of a pony in your pocket for emotional support.